First Aid self-help ways to help soften the impact to help you through Miscarriage
Your personal loss was not your fault, it is important as a couple to share your feelings as you love and support each other in different ways through the experience.
If you find yourself sinking emotionally, seek help from one of our team fertility specialists.
Give your self time to grieve, its vital to emotional recovery:
Even if you miscarried very early, it’s still a tremendous loss. Allow yourself the space to shed your tears as it releases a relaxing chemical that is positive to your overall health and well-being.
Men naturally will grieve in a different way or not at all, as the connection is not as real or tangible for the man. Allowances need to be made for this, as we are all different and process differently within different time frames.
Be it on line or from close friends who you are comfortable sharing your feelings with.
If you feel uncomfortable about this and are finding it hard to function in the world then seek professional help. Be mindful and avoid people who may unintentionally speak insensitively.
Ask for Answers:
Check with your caregiver as they may have some ideas as to why you miscarried, as it may help you not to blame your own body for what occurred.
Look at different ways of relaxing:
Try yoga, progressive muscle relaxation, guided imagery, mindful walking, Acupuncture, Hypnosis etc…
Honor the memory of your baby
It is important to create a sense of closure, knowing that whatever you do it will have meaning for you: Planting a tree, a rose bush, Light a candle, taking a walk in nature and finding a stone or a feather that resonates with you. Playing some music, flying and releasing a paper kite, so it flies up into the sky. It is important to pay tribute to your baby.
Journaling: - it helps to write how you are feeling down on paper
Journaling allows you the time to explore your feelings of loss and sadness, to mourn by putting words onto paper in your own way. It can also allow you the space to vent away any anger or feelings of not feeling supported by those around you and how they might have reacted to the news.
Write a letter to your baby telling them how you feel and how sorry you are that they slipped away and why you are writing them the letter. You may find yourself wanting to name the baby in the letter and releasing them out to the universe. Write whatever you feel drawn to write that will help you with sense of closure. You could bury this with a plant in your garden. You may burn the letter or do what you feel is right for you.
A Special Mantra / Prayer
There is a wonderful mantra prayer called Gayatri that addresses physical, emotional, and mental and purifying healing.
“You, who are the source of all power, whose rays illuminate the whole world, illuminate also my heart so that it can heal”
You visualise the rays of the sun entering into your heart, and then streaming out from your heart’s center and into your lost one.
A weekend break, to allow you some head space to be with where you are.
Your due date:
Even though you may be coping well, ensure you look after yourself as the date approaches. You might want to mark the date with some ritual – lighting a candle.
You might go away around that time for a break, indulge in some extra self-nurturing.
If you feel ok, that’s fine, as everyone reacts differently to such events.
When is it time to try again?
Trust your instinct, your feelings, and your body will guide you when to try again. Give yourself a little bit of time, as it takes a couple of weeks for your hormones to re-align and settle and then a couple of moths to conceive.